I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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