so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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