thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
thus making me awesome and them whores
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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