Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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