Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
