Kiss
Puke
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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