its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
