I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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