its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's paint friendship bongs
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
