BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
