we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
