bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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