i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
