it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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