just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
