I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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