If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
