I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i dont even know how to be here
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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