she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
