Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
