Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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