Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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