so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
