i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize