listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
