hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All I want is dick and wine.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
