My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize