ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
