I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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