ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
