turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
