What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
you had me at cake vodka
The air was thick with penises
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
