yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
