Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
