he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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