bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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