so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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