I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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