Plan B is the new Plan A
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
