a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
