How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
