Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
