The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
