He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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