It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
