I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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