Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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