So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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