i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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