somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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