i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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