Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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