Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
