Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
