She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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