She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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