Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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