Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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