i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
