i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
